Let me make one thing clear: I have never truly been a rebellious teenager.
Sure, I've had bad days, and arguments with parents, siblings and friends (though luckily not many), but on the whole I've been a good girl.
I do have some issues, that would categorise me as being a bit lazy and not having my priorities straight: eg. I always get writing and other fun stuff done before homework (this causes problems). But I like to think I am usually a hard worker and someone who doesn't give up on things, who does what she's told.
I don't usually keep secrets, and even when I do there is always one person I share them with - or who knows that something is going on. But not about my writing.
This is why this whole thing is rather scary for me. No-one knows about it, it's not what they'd expect of me and I have no idea how they'd react. It sometimes makes me feel guilty that I'm not telling them, but I really don't know how I'd start. I've said before that this is completely different to the other path my life seems to be taking - as in becoming an astronuat vs being a pole dancer (don't worry, neither of these are in my current plans).
My family are always trying to help me make plans for that other life; things that'd make me stand out from the crowd or get me valuable experience. But a lot of these things get in the way of writing and I either have to do them, losing me time on my book, or turn them down and face the disappointment, confusion and guilt of not doing something my family have worked hard to help me with.
It's hard to make those choices.
So, I may not be breaking out in the ways a lot of people do - certainly not a dramatically. But to me it's a big step outside my comfort zone and away from my family, and - to be honest - I'm completely terrified about it. But it's still not going to let it stop me (did I mention earlier that I don't give up on things easily?).
I suppose I'll just have to live with my choices.
Not much useful for anyone else in this post, but it's good to get these things off my chest.
Hope you enjoyed it (though I don't blame you if you didn't)
W-O xxx